There is an old adage that being unforgiving is like swallowing poison and expecting it to kill someone else. In truth this is not far off the mark. Not only does grudging anger have no direct effect on someone who offends you, the absence of satisfaction gnaws the psyche on its own. Even if you were to effect revenge, this is as likely to perpetuate a cycle of retaliation that will assure the poison swallowed not only kills you, but everyone around you.
To be unforgiving is to allow another to hold power over you. To harbor resentment, no matter how valid, is to be in mental slavery. As thought becomes intention, and in turn action. The physical reality may become a reflection of this mental state. One becomes constrained to a world defined by anger and resentment, by the actions of someone or something else. The locus of control is outside the self. Such a person is truly enslaved.
Never the less, far from being the sole behavior of uneducated underclasses, unforgiveness, accompanying resentment, and self pity are high fashion and moral orthodoxy in modern western culture. This is a huge mistake, and a bright example of both profound ingratitude, and incredible ignorance of history.
It is true oppression, murder, rape, exploitation, even genocide are a part of modern history. However, any honest individual may as easily look to their own family for examples of the people who carried out these atrocities. They are in no way unique to any culture, time, or place. They must be opposed, but the time for this is in their commission, not during the search for justice long after the fact. On the personal level, forgiveness does not mean allowing one's self to be victimized. Pacifism is incredibly anti-climactic. The only cases we recall were made possible by many supporting actors carrying on the fight and thus providing a stage for pacifism to be heroic. In general, fight back.
And fight back too when doubt, uncertainty, shame, and outright deception lure you into vindictive, unforgiving resentment. Outrage, abuse, and evil are circumstances, not identities. No human is so worthless as to be defined by their victimization. In general, fight back, forgive, and free yourself from mental slavery.
